Hey BeachAngel,
I felt exactly like you do when I was at just around 30 days. I remember how surprised and hurt I was that the urges and rationalization to drink came back.
I called my new recovering friends as well as some numbers of women I'd met at meetings but never phoned until then. Absolutely no one was disappointed in me. No one became less excited about my recovery. In fact, I think one woman said she was proud I'd phoned her. Had I kept it to myself, I'd have missed the opportunity to strengthen my friendships in recovery.
I've learned that I have to "tell on my disease." I have had a good laugh with my sponsor after saying out loud that I was thinking that I could drink or use responsibly. It makes sense in my head until I say it out loud. Then I can see how ridiculous it really is.
In my experience, yes, this is a part of (early) recovery. I didn't feel this way for more than a few days. The old comfort you remember can be replaced by a new comfort from new behaviors. That's how it's worked for me, anyway.
Best of luck to you and CONGRATULATIONS on 29 days!!