Hi Deliverance!
Every time I have done it, he tells me how much he appreciates it and how much his life has changed and how much more self-control he has when he is with me.
All of the following is just my personal opinion and by no means expert advice!
The problem I see with his appreciation of you putting your foot down is that he puts you into the role of the person that is responsible for controlling his addiction and you should not have to take on that role. It's stressful to constantly have an eye on your partner and to constantly lay out the rules and tell a grown man what to do (I have been there!) and you should not have to deal with that kind of stress.
If he needs me so much, then what will happen when he no longer needs me? When he gets well, (I'm praying he does) will he then leave since the basis of his love for me is his need for me it seems?
This really hit me because I used to have the same fear. I had to let him separate from me physically (move into his own place) to learn that the relationship only has a basis if he still wants to be with me even though he does not need me to control his addiction.
If there is a way, you might want to consider withdrawing from your current role and focusing less on him and more on yourself and the kids. He is the only one who can ultimately control his addiction and like I said, you shouldn't have to take on that duty.
