Help me understand?
Hi, I'm new to this forum. I stumbled upon it and thought maybe it could help me...
2 years ago I made an online friend with whom I immediately became very close. 6 months into our friendship, he revealed to me that he was an alcoholic. I didn't know much about alcoholism, and he seemed pretty normal to me so I didn't think much of it. We only kept in touch during his working hours and so I never saw the impact that alcohol really had on him "after-hours"...
Over the course of the next year, through constant email contact, I began understanding the depth of the grip that alcoholism can have on somebody. Terrible stories were relayed to me, all of which had alcohol involved.
A year and a half into our friendship, we decided to meet in person. I flew out to spend a week with him this past summer (he lives thousands of miles away from me, in another country). This was my first real exposure to the reality of alcoholism. My friend couldn't even look at me or relax around me unless he had alcohol in his system. It was devastating for me.
Since then, I have really struggled between pity and anger towards him. He doesn't want to be an alcoholic; yet all of his extra money goes into alcohol and it's eating up his life. But he doesn't want to live a life without alcohol because he views it as the only way he can relax and/or have fun. He's become incredibly depressed in part due to the alcoholism. But does nothing to fix it except dull his pain with a drink.
From a distance, all I can do is watch him flail around in despair. And it hurts me tremendously to see him in anguish over it because I care so much. But I also know to keep a safe distance because getting too involved with alcoholism could easily suck the life out of me, too.
Sometimes I consider going to alcohol anonymous meetings myself. Just to understand. But then I get angry about it, because even he won't go to a meeting. Why should I.
*sigh*
I'm rambling. I just need some sort of support and understanding. I fear my dearest friend is going to drink himself to death. And I don't know what to do.