Originally Posted by
Soconfused11 
I am trying to make sense of men like Chris, trying to understand the mind of controlling men who are addicts. Why they do the things to do.
I've been having a hard time these last few days, and I noticed something.
Lately my emotional pain is almost always accompanied by the strong scent of vodka and my husband's aftershave.
I'm not saying that he
causes my pain - but there is definitely a correlation in the amount of tears that I cry and the amount of time that I spend with him.
Sometimes he behaves so callously to me, with so little appreciation or concern for my well-being that I am astounded.
This morning I spent a little while on the phone with my best friend running through some of the "How could he say that to me?! It doesn't make sense!" routine.
She said, "There's no sense to it right now, Mel. Best to quit looking."
Trying to analyze and understand another person's motives and intentions is always tricky (questionable) business - trying to analyze and understand an active addict's motives and intentions is pointless. I just keep running around in circles.
Soooooo.... I don't have any good books for understanding controlling, addict men.
I'm reading the Codependent's Guide to the 12 Steps and Smart Women Finish Rich - they help me feel like I'm getting somewhere!
Hugs to you, Wendy!
Hope your day is bright.
-TC