Adult Children of Alcoholics
I'm in a human relations class in school this semester and read a section in my book about adult children of alcoholics. I found it hit home as I have suffered from every single one of these issues that the book mentions. I felt compelled to share it with the forum as it was enlightening for me.
"The following list is indicative of the extent of the problems that some people face as a result of living in dysfunctional families. It can also help us understand the depth of the healing that must take place in order to have better human relations.
Adult Children of alcoholics:
1. Guess at what normal behavior is.
2. Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.
3. Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
4. Judge themselves without mercy.
5. Have difficulty having fun.
6. Take themselves very seriously.
7. Have difficulty with intimate relationships.
8. Overreact to changes over which they have no control.
9. Constantly seek approval and affirmation.
10. Usually feel they are different from other people.
11. Are super responsible or super irresponsible.
12. Are extremely loyal, even when evident the loyalty is undeserved.
13. Are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsivity leads to confusion, self-loathing, and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess."
This came from a book by Janet G. Woititz called Adult Children of Alcoholics.
My dad is an alcoholic, my one sibling an older brother is an alcoholic and marijuana addict, I am an alcoholic, and my mother is mentally ill I do believe. It is no wonder why my life has been so difficult. I had no role models and I have been guessing at what normal is my whole life. I often feel intense anger toward my parents for what they did to me, but I realize that I must come to terms with the reality of it all and forgive them in order to heal myself.
I have decided to major in psychology with a minor in sociology and would like to pursue a medical degree after I finish my bachelors degree. I believe I would be an excellent psychiatrist/therapist some day as I have absolute compassion and understanding for people with problems in their lives. I have always had a desire to help people my whole life and frequently find myself in counseling role. I have come to the realization that I must begin by understanding and healing myself. I am hoping my studies will make my healing process even more complete.
My father thinks that I'll never make it through college. He compared me to my mother who jumped from career to career and lacked the ability to stick with anything for any length of time. I believe he thinks I was irresponsible for leaving my career in the telephone industry and am a big f### up for doing so. I think he is wrong about me. I believe someday he will understand how wrong he was to not believe in me. I think he should be ashamed for not supporting me in my attempt to better myself and those in the world around me. A parent should support and encourage his child. He has never really encouraged me to accomplish anything in life, just found things to be negative about. I just didn't want to end up like him, sitting in the bar every afternoon, and continuing the family pattern of dysfunction.
Thanks for listening. I just wanted to get that off my chest. I woke up at 4 a.m. with this on my mind and had to do something with it.