Hello! Hope that your gathering your thoughts in preperation for your next step of sobriety... I started blacking out about two years ago, every now and then..then it just became the norm..and for a year I drove myself into that same ditch...drink-get wasted-blackout and act horrible( every personality change possible from agressive bitch,profound intellectual,pathetic ****...you name it) and then I tried the whole moderation thing and I was so dead set on proving to everyone and myself that I was not an alchoholic ..so I would still go out and limit myself to two glasses of wine or three beers max..really didnt give me a majorbuzz..but people were "proud" and I could still feel social..well the thing is, that I still got blackouts and fuzzy fragmented puzzle piece memories ..only after two drinks..so It didnt matter if I was having the whole bottle or just two glasses..I still went right back to that plateau point in blacking out..its very scary and overwhelming but it is dead truth..blackouts are a HUGE RED FLAG of alcholism, and there is no reverse cure..they just get worse and more frequent once they start and they are the main reason I am sober...GOOD LUCK COME BACK XOXO