it's a lot harder to quit when you are functional
i almost wish i would hit bottom. i haven't lost a job or anything. infact i got promoted this year and consistently get good reviews for my job performance despite the fact that i'm hungover all the time. the only thing suffering is my body, liver function tests are 5 times the normal range but even if i die, i don't have a wife/kids to worry about. mom gets life insurance and life goes on.
i don't believe in AA because i believe that i choose to drink, it's hard not to but it's still my decision to go to the store but this forum has a lot of activity so thats why im posting here. add to that that i'm agnostic and it makes AA almost impossible but i'm considering choosing my higher power to be a lucky rock that i found 15 years ago when i was a kid and scared and it made me feel better. that's not logical at all... is that insane? probably, but so is alcoholism.
are there any other agnostic/atheist people here who have found a higher power that's not spiritual? and if you were a functional alcoholic, what made you stop? this is probably a repost but i'm too tired to search.