We all have the potential to harm others unintentionally whether or not we are sober, I dont think we have much say about this cause we never know the long term consequences of our actions. Its just part of life. We also have positive impacts on people without knowing it. Like when I was in high school I tutored elemetary school students one year. Like 10 years later this girl came up to me, I didnt recognize her, and said that I had been a real good influence on her when I was tutoring her all those years ago. It blew my mind at the time and I try to remember her when I am hating myself these days.
I am used to being handed everything also, I have never had to clean up my own messes and that is why trying to stay sober is so hard, no one can do it for me and I cant manipulate them into doing it for me. I am finding it very hard lately to deal with the consequences of my drinking, which continue to catch up with me, and I might be dealing with them in the wrong way, I dont know, I just deal with them as best I can.
Keep trying
