Well..I am a little surprised actually.
My heart sunk when I saw your name under this heading.
I am not one to be giving any kind of advice. Especially now.
All I can say is. We always have to try again.
I have lived my whole life on getting back up. I often wonder when that time will come where I dont have to brush myself off again.
That is all in our own hands as I see it.
Personally. I am tired of getting dirty.
I can no longer think of what who thinks or wants in MY life.
I have to be just as selfish with my recovery now as I was in addiction.
Its gotta be all about me even now.
Be good to yourself Matty.
All that beautiful wisdom you share with others that I have seen so many times.
Direct it toward you.
You are my closest friend here.
And I want you to have what you so much deserve.