Originally Posted by
Tasma 
Hi everyone. I sometimes wonder about why it’s so hard for an alcoholic to stop drinking even when he/she knows the habit is causing a lot of harm. I think for many of us drinking had become a crutch to lean on. Perhaps we had not really learnt to handle life emotionally and mentally and now proceeded to look for support by artificial means. Seeing as we already had a predisposition to alcohol abuse it readily became our first choice “crutch”. I think about this because I know that for many years I didn’t drink at all, but found that when I started to “use” alcohol for emotional support – so to speak – I couldn’t stop myself from consuming copious quantities. What do others here think of the above observations? Thanks
I find this true for me, as someone who began drinking in my mid-teens. I had my first major depressive episode when I was 7, according to my and my family's memories (at that time, no one thought kids could really have depression). A teacher suggested to me that she thought I was depressed in 6th grade! I began treatment when I was 17, started drinking at 15. For me it all came together when I began drinking. I believe they are separate issues, though. My first drink, which I snuck, all alone- no social reinforcement or anything- physically and emotionally effected me in a big way. It was my first attempt and failure at moderation, too! I poured myself a shot of tequila, promising myself I was "just trying it", put the bottle back... and took it down/poured/put it back 3 more times. Instant rush of euphoria. It was that reaction of my body and brain that hooked me. Would I have chased it so hard for so long if I wasn't depressed? Dunno. But here I am anyway, I don't worry too much about the "why" of it anymore
I sure am learning coping mechanisms now that it would have been nice to develop in my teens and early twenties, though. I'm so grateful to be sober today.