Thanks to all for the motivation!!
I most certainly agree Stubborn in saying DON'T GO out, but I'm also one that doesn't like to stay home and not do anything at all. I have tried this route, and it worked for a few weeks, but in the dead of the winter I start getting anxious and just want people to be around. I'm sure like many, most to all of my friends drink. I have a few that are pregnant right now, which will certainly be helpful in the thoughts of not feeling lonely and being the only one not going out and drinking. We used to always have our friends over (especially in the winter months) because we put our son to bed, than start drinking and play games with our friends over. I STILL have yet to tell my husband. I think for myself, I first want to get through this weekend, and maybe next and show how serious I am about it. I don't want to say I wanna stop and not following through AGAIN! He has been supportive in the past, when I have tried to stop. However he also doesn't understand for me that it's all or nothing... I can't just have one drink and be done.
Tonight I am working at my second job, and know that I can come home and won't have anything to influence me. Tomorrow night however we are going to my sister-in-laws to watch the 'premiere' of her wedding video.... haha, yes your read that right!
There is going to be a lot of people with lots of alcohol and i'm sure other drugs later in the night. I have already mentioned to my husband that I will go to watch the video and hang for a few minutes, but will have to get home to put AJ to be (bed time is 8:30)... so i'm looking at 2 or so hours being around it. This isn't an instance where I can bail... nor do I want to because I like to be around my friends. I'm sure I'm making excuses, but maybe it will be a true test to me to know if I can handle being around it or not.
It's so nice to come here and write out how I feel and actually have people understand and tell me their stories as well. Again thank you all so much for the support. It is SERIOUSLY helping me out so much with the hopes of getting through this!