Ok so what do you guys think?
Today I picked up the kids and went to get their haircuts. They were so excited to show their dad their hair so we went by where he is currently staying (sisters) and at first I wasnt gonna get out of the van but then I thought what the hell.
Recap for those who dont know me. EXBF is addicted to pain pills that he got for a back injury almost 2 years ago now. Been fighting for months to get him off of these pills. Finally I kicked him out 2 weeks ago because I just couldnt take the behavior. He has changed some much with these pills.
So I asked him what he thought of Olivia's hair (she got 8 inches cut off) he said he liked it. For the first time in a long time he looked me in the eyes and spoke to me like he used to.
Then his sister came home and she just had a new baby so I went in to see the baby and ya know what with all of us there it seemed like everything was normal. He sat down next to me while I was holding the baby and he held our 19 month old and I could feel that there is still love there. He got up to do something (and Im thinking oh that didnt last long) but then came back over and sat next to me again. When his sister was leaving we bundled up the baby and put her in the seat and he leaned over me and held onto my leg and kissed the baby goodbye.
For a short while I could see the old him and I could feel myself wanting so badly to reach out to him and tell him we could get through this and to just come home. I know moment of weakness but all I kept thinking was how could he throw something that even in these circumstances could still be felt between us away. I love this man dearly and I know he loves me. Why wont he make that jump?
Again he says next month he will be going into recovery on the 15. Cant he see that I want him back with us at home? Why is he being so hardheaded? Last night he sent our daughter a text message saying he loved her and the girls (we have 4 daughters between us) and then sent another message saying he loved ALL of us.
Does anybody know what to make of this? Should I just leave him on this path until he can find his way back to us? Does he really think its over between us? I need some input here.