Hey FC,
Sorry you're finding yourself in this position (glad you found us here though).
You have a lot on your plate, a lot of it having to do with situations that you didn't cause, you can't control, and you can't cure.
Any way to let those people deal with their own stuff for a while, and just focus on things that are going to bring you long-term happiness?
You may have to give up the wish that this one guy is the answer to all your prayers forever. Looks like maybe that's not the case. I felt like that too - it was all over.
Tell you what, though: if I hadn't jettisoned that dead weight in my life, I would never have found the peace, prosperity, and almost unimaginable happiness that I have now.
You may be giving something up, but it might just be an investment in a future life that suits you much better.
Just a thought.
Hugs,
GL
p.s. as far as not reacting goes, I found that the less I was investing in other peoples' problems and other peoples' choices, the less I cared enough to get mad. It just didn't interest me any more.....I was too focused on my own life, the only one I could truly control. I walked away a lot, just as I would to a barking dog on the street.