I admitted I was Powerless over Alcohol. I admitted this for years. I just couldn't bring myself to take the second half of step one. My life was still managable and I devoted my life to trying to prove it.
In my mind I was proving it. I would dismiss every negative occurance as coincidence or blame something or somebody else. Nothing was ever my fault. If it was it had nothing to do with alcohol.
I was on my first drink of the day when God decided that he'd seen enough. Any preception that my life was "Managable" was an illusion. This was demonstrated to me right then and there. I poured it out and tossed the Mason Jar under my seat.
5 Years later I am still cleaning up the damage I left in the wake of my "Managable" life.