Ann, thank you so much for this post today. I'm struggling with the impending death of a loved one (in hospice now on that 24-hour morphine cocktail...) and it feels at the end of the day like I've been carrying a rhino around on my back. I am sick and sad, exhausted and ready to cry at any provocation. (Out of toilet paper? Dropped my sandwich on the floor? Dog barking? Hear the sound of GL blowing her nose once again.)
But worst of all is the judgment I try to place on myself, that I should be stronger, wiser, more resilient. That I shouldn't be this blubbering weakling, but rather some kind of super-buddha, calm, unfazed. I am all over myself about that.
Thanks, thanks, THANKS for the reminder that grief is heavy lifting, and we need to be tender with ourselves.