Originally Posted by
denny57 
What strikes me in this paragraph is that you apologized and he made an excuse.
Thanks for pointing that out Denny. It raised something in me, as well, that wanted to respond but I was at a loss for words (now THAT'S a rarity!!).
The comfort zone that may be in place is that we, as codies, feel better when we make amends - even if we do not need to. But we have that natural reaction to take the blame, carry the guilt, smooth things over. I realize I have frequently done that myself. And my motive was that I wanted (1) to smooth things over, and (2) get the other person to like me again; to be satisifed with me; to feel I had pleased him or her; that I had behaved "appropriately" in their eyes.
It wasn't until I came to grips with what I was doing that I was able to understand that my "comfort zone" was based on my codependency. And that "comfort zone" finally became uncomfortable.