Hi wearymama,
Welcome
i too am in love with an (heroin)addict. I've been with him for 8 years+ and it's also been pretty unstable, that's the least i can say...Clean for some time then relapse then clean then relapse then methadone then clean then relapse etc etc etc.... It's just so hard cos everytime i believe he wants to stay clean so badly. And i'm like "why can't it then??!!" I've learnt that it's unfortunately not that easy
My bf is now in inpatient rehab and it's been 4 months. Fortunately i'm the bread winner so at least i don't have to worry about $. Maybe you could try to see if you could get a job to gain independance? It'll be one thing less to worry?
I also have a baby girl, she is 5 months old, and it's tough & lonely to raise her alone.
Anyway, i think it's good your husband didn't want you to bail him out and hopefully he'll try the inpatient rehab. However hard and long it'll be, in the long run it might be worth it.
take care
Carine