Quality of life
How do people do it?
I keep reading the same things:
--you can find any excuse to drink
--you have to want it
--stop making excuses for yourself
--you can handle anything sober
--blah, blah, blah
Well, apparently, the shoe doesn't fit for me.
I always have to be different. I find that I really don't agree with what anyone has to say anymore. I haven't been this discouraged in a long time. I feel terribly alone...I'm not happy with my situation at all and I don't see any way in which to improve it. I don't have the so-called "tools necessary to get the job done." No one around me understands...gotta love my family, but they're a little dense when it comes to this stuff. I realized something today...every single one of my problems can be traced to people. People. People.
Why does everything have to be so difficult? How can I shut off the part of me that cares so I can function properly? I don't want to think anymore. I don't want to care. I don't want to hurt. I'm actually holding back tears now. I don't want to cry. I don't want to feel. I want to be well.
I'm just putting this out here people because I feel unsettled. I'm making myself do this. Don't worry about me. I'm hoping (yeah, that's all I seem to do now) that one day this will all magically come together and *poof*, it's a sunny day. Why can’t I just believe that life is great?