Hi Justme...I had two false starts before this last time. I have a little over 40 days sober and this time I am doing it the way everyone with good, clean sober time tells me. I go to meetings - 90 in 90 days, so far I have about 70 in 40 days, but only because I am laid off and am able to go. My (soon to be ex-dh) also hated the lying and the hiding, as did I. Keep in mind that "normal" people don't lie or hide the booze. I know my dh was in a whole lot of pain when I was active, and still is. As a matter of fact, and I am NOT saying this to scare you or anything like that, just sharing my story, after 10 years together, 7 married and having been through hell and back, he is now having an affair and wants a divorce. This was HIS choice. But I guess my message is this....spouses don't "allow" us to do anything. No one forced us to pick up and drink, we do it to ourselves. And it DOES work....but I know it doesn't work MY way. I can tell you that had you told me a few months ago I would watch my husband get ready for a date with his girlfriend (literally) and wouldn't pick up and drink myself to death, I would have told you you were crazy. But I haven't, and by the grace of God, I won't. I only know what has worked for me...
Go to meetings...
Get a sponsor....
Work the Steps...
Get a Big Book and read it!
Go early to the meetings and stay after the meetings. I have met the most wonderful, supportive, loving people at AA, people that even after this short time have let me count on them as they can count on me. And when I need a word of encouragement, or a hug, or someone to just listen, or let me cry, they do just that, and they understand me! And here I thought I was soooo unique, LOL.
I hope I haven't come across as "preachy". I just wanted you to know that you are NOT alone in this, and I know that many more beautiful people here on SR will be along soon to let you know that.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers...
Just take it one day at a time
