Originally Posted by
Soconfused11 
I guess I am kind of stuck in "acknowledging the craziness", I've known it for probably 2 years...but just lately have I really started feeling like I'm not in love anymore, like I stay for reasons of comfort, and guilt.
One precious life. That's all you get.
What a pity to spend that life mired in guilt and unhappiness.
I think it is progressive of you to recognize how comfortable you feel in this situation - despite the negative aspects of it.
From your post it sounds as though you grew up witnessing a similar relationship - now this one feels normal (crappy, but normal).
And Ryan is witnessing it.
You are insightful. You are intelligent. You are becoming emotionally mature.
You can break this cycle of dysfunction. For yourself and your son.
Imagine the pride that you will feel in modeling a healthy, responsible, loving woman to your son. Imagine the respect you will instill in him for women who respect themselves.
I think the allure of that pride, those positive feelings, will ultimately overwhelm your fear of the negative.
We can all live freely and joyfully - we can all be proud of our lives.