Worried I would like to share my experience with you, I will be brief. I was physically, verbally and emotionally abused by the stbxah. I prefer to refer to him as R, just one small way for me to no longer "own" him.
When I finally decided that enough was enough he played the blame game. I believe that he needs to blame me because if he did not he would have to look at himself. He is an active alcoholic so I don't think this is something he is willing to do.
He was very callous when I told him I was leaving, his only thoughts were for himself, where would he go, how would he make it, what would happen to him. Again, I believe that this behavior was another way to divert the attention from the true matter at hand. Had he showed concern or caring, once again he would have been forced to do something painful in recognizing that his marriage was over. An active alcoholic is simply not strong enough to face painful situations head on or they would not be active.
Please take this time to really think about you and your child, no child should be exposed to this insanity. Peace.