Originally Posted by
Rainbowgirl128 
True. I think what i am struggling with is that friends/family may think it would be so easy for the A to simply stop drinking/using. Like, "Well if he loved me enough he just wouldnt go to the liquor store/bar." Whereas the addict feels that, because he is psychologically addicted or physically addicted to his DOC, he no longer has that choice to simply not drink/use.
Anyone who has read my voluminous number of posts LOL knows I come down on the side of understanding exactly how difficult it must be (is) for an addict to quit. I came to that realization two ways.
I educated myself on alcoholism, addiction and the brain.
I made the decision to change myself and my behaviors and realized just how damm hard it is. I have nothing but absolute respect for an addict who works to recover.
I think a good point is made: the "if you loved me." That is what I had to change in myself. Holding someone else up to my expectations of what they should do to "prove" they loved me, when in reality he was doing all he could at the time. I came to understand it was up to me to make choices that made my life complete - no one else "completes" me, despite what the movies may say.
I agree with LTD - real growth came for me when I stopped looking at the addiction and simply asked myself - am I happy? The answer was no, and I took steps to correct that.