Just some perspective from someone who's been there. My AH still calls me a hypocrit on a regular basis because I used to "guzzle whiskey straight from the bottle". That was over TWENTY YEARS ago! I quit partying when I was pregnant with my oldest. Not that your situation will turn out the same, but please consider doing your child (and future children) a favor and raise them in a healthy home free from the madness. I'm still trying to figure out why I stayed so long, but I can tell you the leaving part does not get any easier down the road.