I've been married alm ost 35 years and we are very happy- more in love than ever. There have been some bad times and relapses. I don't know which came first but they were always at the same time.
He hasn't had a drink in ...I forget..but at least over 12 years-maybe 15. When he did drink he didn't get drunk. We used to drink a glass of wine with our dinner and he had an occasional beer. I've always hated it whenever he drank even a sip...out of fear. Now he knows that for him, one thing can lead to another when it comes to any mood altering substance...the booze was never that hard for him to leave alone.
His problem was abusing rx drugs that he really does need to take. We have always got along well with each other and despite the obvious life didn't change that much in the early years when he would slip-except that I hated it!
He's more active in AA than ever before, especially after a brief relapse last year. That was a very bad time for me - much worse than with my son when he was active.
btw...My son has been clean almost two and a half years and is very a happily (recently) married.