Sa?
Hello all, I was here a long time ago when my son was going through recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. He is still doing well, substance wise, over 18 months sober at age 21 and working, going to school, living on his own and I am very proud of him. He is very active in his AA/HA/CA community and does step work, meditation and prayer to his HP, has a sponsor and sponsors a few people. He is very open and honest with me, for the most part.
He recently told me he thinks he is a sex addict and is seeking out an SA sponsor and starting those steps.
Here is my dilemna.
Codie me. He has had to cut back his work hours due to the difficult college major he has chosen, and I know he spends a lot of time studying and is trying hard. He wants this career path he has chosen and need financial help from me. I required us to sit down and make out a budget and advised where he could cut corners. Based on that, we agreed upon an amount I would give him each month to allow him to keep up his studies and still pay his bills. He feels (and I agree) that it is better for him to live on his own because his life really changed once he had to do that.
But I am a signer on his checking acct and I see that subscriptions to "adult" sites are being charged to him. His laptop screen recently went out - it has been a problem with this laptop we have repaired more than once. I told him flat out I cannot afford a new laptop for him and gave him the information to call the manufacturer to see if it was still under warranty.
I am seriously struggling here with continuing to give him money since he is still paying for the adult sites..........and IMO the laptop screen going out....I wanted to ask him what site he was looking at when it happenned!?!
I do not want to jeopardize his sobriety by requiring him to work too much and either miss meetings/sponsor/step time or college. But knowing what I know, I don't want to enable him with his SA problem. I also don't want to leave him hanging out to dry. I can afford to help him, but I don't want to keep ignoring these concerns I have and I feel bad calling him out about his SA since he was honest and upfront with me about that.
Anyone been in this situation? Any advice?
And if SA is not an appropriate topic on this board, I apologize and admins/mods please remove.
TIA
CIM