Welcome Darth!
Five months ago, I was very similar to your wife. I was a functional alcoholic as well. But I was miserable. Looking back, I am not sure how my husband and I made it but we did.
Unfortunately the night before I hit bottom he and I talked about it and I told him (in tears) that I had a problem and needed to quit drinking. His answer was that I needed to slow down and that I probably wasn't an alcoholic. But then he had no idea how much I really drank. The wine bottle he saw was not the only one.
Unfortunately the next day I hit bottom when I crashed my car (after drinking of course) with our daughter in the car. Neither of us was hurt but it sure woke us both up. I have gotten help and have not had a drink since. Please protect your kids.
There is so much support here! Keep reading and posting.