Hi Darth,
Welcome...
I went through all the same motions with my AH.
Then I found SR, and it has helped me immensely. Quite honestly, when I first started posting and reading the posts, it scared the heck out of me. However, the information and support that I received here has helped me deal with this situation in a healthier way.
Have you tried Al-Anon? This would be helpful too.
Alot of great advice here, so take what you find relevent and leave the rest...hugs to you (((Darth)))). Keep coming back