Originally Posted by
DarthRedneck 
I have tried to ask her to stop,I've offered her my FULL support and even given it to her.It didn't last 3 days before she was asking me "can i please have one more glass, or will you be disappointed?" at which point she breaks into tears because she knows the answer.
My husband and I had a similar dynamic.
It seemed incredible to me that he didn't recognize his drinking as unhealthy.
I spent a lot of energy trying to convince him how harmful that amount of alcohol was to his body - his psyche - our family.
I gave him literature on alcoholism and medical options for treatment.
I wrote him poetry about how much I loved him and how willing I was to support him during his struggle.
I cried and pleaded and begged him not to follow his father's path into addiction - for the sake of our son.
Nothing worked.
All of my reasons for him to quit fell on deaf ears. Not because he's a bad and heartless man, but because he is a man who is compelled to drink alcoholically. His brain demands the drug and twists its reasoning around to accommodate that demand. Trying to explain reality to someone in that state is definitely a losing proposition.
It's heartbreaking to experience the alcoholic's denial.
But I found that I was in denial, as well.
I told myself that he wanted to get better. I believed that he wanted to get better, even though there was ample evidence to the contrary.
My husband would occasionally, after a particularly hard night of drinking, tell me that he wanted to quit. He'd say it - he even went to treatment - but he wouldn't actually stop drinking. He wasn't ready.
I had to get out the way. Step out of his business and take over my own. I had enmeshed myself in his struggle to the point that
I felt physically ill when
he drank. It crushed me.
But I came here. I realized and began to fully accept that
it is not my fault that he drinks. I started trying to live my life without relying on his ability to stay sober. That meant rearranging our financial and housing situations, our childcare arrangements, and my general ideas about the emotional support I could expect from my partner.
He still drinks. I have peace. I will always pray for his recovery, but I no longer depend on it.
Alcoholism is a hard pill to swallow.
Keep your chin up, Darth - I'm glad that you're here.
Keep posting.
-TC