I'm not quite sure where to start or end, so bear with me.First off, I love my wife more than life itself,making this pretty hard to figure out. She is what everyone calls a "functional alcoholic".
Her alcoholism does not affect her job, but her job DOES give her the ability to go have a few with her friends at lunch. There have been occasions where i will get a text or call saying"I just found a great new drink,so i'm a little buzzed
"
She buys her wine in 1.5 litre bottles, which she will very often finish 1(or more)a night. She even goes as far as buying the cheaper brands so she can afford more, and checks to make sure the alcohol content is high enough for her when trying a new bottle. Here is where it gets complicated.....
For the sake of my story, She and I have 5 children between us.2 of mine from a PM and 3 of hers from a PM.We have different idea's about how children should be raised ie: DISCIPLINE! She gets VERY protective of hers, as I do of mine.We would also like to have 1 of our own.
My wife has a very obsessive compulsive personallity. She ALWAYS has to be in control,know more and be RIGHT. She is also an extremely caring mother.The first problem is, I can't communicate with her about the way I feel toward child rearing.She only gets defensive,angry and spiteful and often goes for another drink.She is always saying she wants whats best for the kids, and uses alcohol as an excuse!"If we're gonna have all the kids this weekend I'm going to need more wine" and "would you rather i have wine so i can be relaxed around the kids? or just be stressed out all weekend?"
She takes everything I say out of context, or turns it around on me.How do you argue with someone who's been drinking and "knows they are right" I have tried to ask her to stop,I've offered her my FULL support and even given it to her.It didn't last 3 days before she was asking me "can i please have one more glass, or will you be disappointed?" at which point she breaks into tears because she knows the answer. I have even found that i watch the fluid level in her bottles, to see if she is sneaking drinks.
So often, she tells me " i didn't even have that much" at which point i have to tell her how much she REALLY had.More tears. It's like a never ending cycle. Where do I go next?