helpacoa

this is my first time seeking outside advice regarding my parents' alcoholism. both of my parents are alcoholics. my father is good at covering up his problem because he takes care of his responsibilities during the day when he is sober and avoids commiments in the evening when he drinks.

my mother started attending AA 10 years ago after drinking herself into a coma. she is a binge drinker, when she drinks she is unable to do anything 24/7 until she decides to sober up again. she has a variety of excuses for "relapsing" all of which boil down to a "life is too hard to deal with" attitude. she relapses for months at a time at least 2 times a year. she has not had a job for 18 years.

my sister and i are exhausted by the drama. we have tried listening to their problems, being compassionate, being stearn, confronting them with how this effects us, etc. nothing works. recently my sister informed them that she has been advised to cut contact with them to find serenity in her own life. as ususual when we tell them how negatively their drinking effects us we were attacked. they call us names, tell us we are a source of the problem by perpetuating fear and resentment with our attitudes, and tell us that they don't need us in their lives (when in reality their greatest fear is that we will reject them and actually cut them off).

i recently took this very hard as i just had my first child, their first grandchild. i have wanted them to be part of his life because they are great people when they are sober, but am having a hard time being anything but angry as i feel this now affects my son. how do i deal with this? is it finally time for me to walk away and cut communication?