i read the book and agree with the author. I especially was drawn in at the beginning when she talked about a time in the future when families/society will no longer tolerate addiction within it and compared it to the introduction of CPR into our societal psyche as being so problematic but how now we accept it without question in medical treatment...
I have come across some people's definition of "letting go" to mean "let the addict do anything" yet say nothing but the slogans of Alanon and go to a meeting. I have seen people lose their homes, lose their children because the State stepped in, let their children be exposed to x-rated behaviors of the addict, lose all their savings because the addict took it all, lose their cars because of the addict's behavior, have the utilities cut off because of the addict's behavior, and on and on. Then these spouse show up here or at a meeting and say, "OMG, how much more of this can I take? I'm letting him/her go, but i just don't think i can live like this anymore." Then they decide the addict is a "lost cause," will never find sobriety, and divorce this person.
I think that is one of the things the author was addressing that I assume she saw in her dealings with family members.
That's one of the angles i saw in the book...