I rallied around my stepdad and my son and they are both sober today.
However, I was careful not to enable and included tough love.
I always showed compassion when they were active addicts, I always helped them find a treatment but didn't let them live with me or my mom if they were using.
I never eased up or was shy about letting them know they were sick and had to get help.
My son has a tendency to become incognito when he is using. He will just disappear
I always sought him out and refused to let him become invisible and lost. I kept contact, found where he was an let him know that he mattered.
I could let him go emotionally some times to protect myself...but I never let him disappear as hard as he tried. This is what I think the author, Debra Jay, believes too.
Don't let them disappear with drugs. As family members we can make a difference
sometimes. In my case this is true. Though it was not straight and quick .
Debra Jay's other book LOVE FIRST that she wrote with her husband, is a great book about how to do an intervention