Hey NDZ!
Welcome back! I've been waiting for ya
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Originally Posted by
nodrinkingzone 
I'm scared, man. I found myself in a place after almost four months that I didn't like - the place where I realised I didn't like myself sober, and was happier being oblivious...
I guess I was drawn back here because I need to finish what I started, but I can see years of fun going down the tube and me not being able to enjoy all the good times I could have getting drunk...
I finally started my career as a teacher, and I drank a bottle of wine and took 16 painkillers before I showed up to class today. This is not a good precursor for how I want to live my life. I've consumed a bottle of wine now, and I've had a couple more painkillers (nothing serious, but codeine based ahhhhh)...
You realize how insane all of this sounds? How fun is it? Really.
You need to be patient and work a good recovery program. There is much more enjoyment in sobriety than in active alcoholism & addiction. Don't kid yourself. And there are going to be those rough days especially early on. Do what you have to do to get through them. I have been sober for about 9 months and I still have my off day's - that's life.
You also have to find a way to stop being so hypersensitive, to get out of your own head. AA, counselling, whatever works for you.
Congrats on the new career! This could be the start of a new, positive time in your life. But you do have some important decisions to make.
Take care.