Hi JMF~~ I completely understand where you are right now. I was there a year and a half ago. When Chris first went into rehab I knew I needed some help with how to help him when he got out. Little did I know how much help I needed. I didn't understand codependancy at all. I was told I was loving him straight to his grave. And I probably was cause I was there for everything he needed. I didn't want him to go with out anything. I supplied way to many apartments with everything he needed.....I bought food, I paid bills~~~I should be saying "WE" here. And my hubby was getting more and more upset with me. I know you love your son but this has to stop hon. You have to let him take care of himself~~or not!! My councelor told me that Chris was mentally abusing me and that just about tore me in pieces. I wish I had found this site and been here when all this was going on. I was a crying mess....If you can't do conciling (sp)) please hang on to your daughter. She's right about getting the car back and not giving him money. So many of the addicts on here will tell you he will find a way....I know how HARD it is but please step away before you get sick. I have to go out but will look for you tomorrow. Big hugs, positive thinking, and take care of you. You deserve that. BOnnie