I don't think you're pathetic. I do think you are completely obsessed and sinking deeper and deeper and giving him complete control over who you are. You're giving every second of every minute to him and you will never have any control over his actions or his getting well, keep that in mind. He will do what he will do.
You need to step back again, take some deep breaths and concentrate solely on you and getting you back. Why would you let someone have such control? Take it one day at a time, quit thinking you have this lonely future ahead of you. No one knows what the day will bring but you're not giving yourself a chance to find out who you are, what life holds for you, when you're spending all your energy working on him, who doesn't even care.
One day at a time, and hang in there working on you.
