Hello
Welcome to SR, Sister. I am the mother of a 46 year old addict. Currently he is in prison (I think 3 or 4th time now) but it's not "big-boy" prison, although he's been in "big-boy" prison many times. He has been in, this time, for 3-1/2 years, but due to get out next month! OH NO!
I'm sure sorry that yet another mom has to go through the heartbreak of addiction. I've been through it all for a lot of years now, so I know how you are feeling.
Wish there was a magic wand we could wave and it would all go away but, unfortunately, that's just not the way it is.
I know all about trying to "save his life" but, this too doesn't work.
Unfortunately, there may come the time when you have to say "get help or get out!" If that time comes, Sister, don't be afraid to say it, as it may just wake him up and end up saving his life.
Sister, all we can do is point them in the right direction and then turn it over to our HP. Only they can save their life, and only when they are ready to do it. All the crying, pleading, worrying, and even barganing, doesn't work, until they are ready to make it work.
One thing that saved me was realizing that I was not alone in my pain. This forum literally saved my life.
Remember worrying is just a wasted energy...praying helps. When you're worrying, you're not praying...when you're praying, you're not worrying.
Hugs & Prayers,
Devastated