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Old 09-20-2008, 09:22 AM
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Unhappy New to the forum

I am the mom of a 22 year old son. My boy is an addict and heroin is his DOC.
Back in June he went to his first rehab...for three weeks. He slipped once and was so distraught about it, but he picked himself up and dusted himself off. Then a few weeks later, he slipped again, and was upset..told me "I can't get my Sh*t together, I don't know what to do". So I tried not to coddle, and said you know what to do, do your program...take your Suboxone, go to meetings..blah blah blah. At this point he was snorting heroin, (he started doing oxy's and vicodin, percocet a few years back I found out).

About a month ago, all hell seemed to break loose and the demon came back, full force. Now he is shooting heroin, all the signs were there, found a needle hidden in his room, the looped belt hanging in his room, and not to mention how easy it is to see it on their face. That still amazes me is that they don't realize it shows immediately, and are shocked that people can notice.

So I approached him about going back to rehab..and the ending result is that tomorrow he is leaving, we live in NY, and going to FLorida. I've been on the phone with them all week,and they talked to my son, and last night he said Ok he would go.

I was very close to using the "Get Help or Get Out" which honestly, I know I would have had to do, but it would have ripped out my heart. I'm trying to save his life, and I hope when he detoxes and his eyes open a bit, he will see this. My hope for him is that he'll stay on at this place after the 30 days, and go into their halfway house, but I don't want to scare him yet, so that he doesn't go.

So, I'll be here, reading and getting to know all you great folks. Thanks for being here.
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Old 09-20-2008, 10:13 AM
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Ann
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Welcome to SR, Sister. I too am the mom of an addict who has been in and our of recovery (presently out and missing for 4 years) and I know your pain. This program and live meetings saved by life, literally, so I hope you'll stick around and also try Naranon or Alanon or CoDA, all terrific programs that help most of us here.

There are many moms here who will be along to welcome you, and a whole group of people who can share what works for them.

Special prayers for you son, may this be the turning point for him, and prayers for you too. It's hard being the mother of an addict.


Hugs
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Old 09-20-2008, 10:34 AM
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hello, Sister and welcome to SR, I am so glad you found us..
I am another mom of a 24 yr old addict...she is not at the point where she is ready to seek treatment and I have had to detach with love...
This board and Al-Anon showed me how to find my way and be part of the solution and not the problem in spite of my daughters choices.

I am so glad your son is willing to heal his life ..that is such a blessing...you will find many momma friends here and much comfort and experience, strength and hope...sending my prayers for you and your son... Grateful
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Old 09-20-2008, 11:56 AM
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Welcome to SR. I am the mom of an addict daughter who is 22. Her story is similar to your son's except she has not progressed to shooting heroin yet. She went to rehab in May, moved back home in August and is attending meetings and using Suboxone. I think about relapse because that is always a possibility. Hugs to you and keep coming back and sharing. Marle
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Old 09-20-2008, 12:24 PM
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Welcome to S&R, you will find much help and support here. I am sorry about your son, he just seems to make the wrong decisions right now. I have an adult recovering ad who was doing coke. I believe she waa doing it for many years before I found out about it.
Your going off to Florida while he is in rehab, it will give you time to think about what your going to do.
Was he working at all when he was out of rehab? Does he live at home? Maybe being with the oldfriends he hung with didn't help.
Addiction is a terrible sickness and needs a lot of the right attention.
Come here and get lots of ideas for help for all of you and good luck to you all. Also Naranon meeting are wonderful to get support while you are in Florida and when you get back.
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Old 09-20-2008, 12:27 PM
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Hello

Welcome to SR, Sister. I am the mother of a 46 year old addict. Currently he is in prison (I think 3 or 4th time now) but it's not "big-boy" prison, although he's been in "big-boy" prison many times. He has been in, this time, for 3-1/2 years, but due to get out next month! OH NO!

I'm sure sorry that yet another mom has to go through the heartbreak of addiction. I've been through it all for a lot of years now, so I know how you are feeling.

Wish there was a magic wand we could wave and it would all go away but, unfortunately, that's just not the way it is.

I know all about trying to "save his life" but, this too doesn't work.

Unfortunately, there may come the time when you have to say "get help or get out!" If that time comes, Sister, don't be afraid to say it, as it may just wake him up and end up saving his life.

Sister, all we can do is point them in the right direction and then turn it over to our HP. Only they can save their life, and only when they are ready to do it. All the crying, pleading, worrying, and even barganing, doesn't work, until they are ready to make it work.

One thing that saved me was realizing that I was not alone in my pain. This forum literally saved my life.

Remember worrying is just a wasted energy...praying helps. When you're worrying, you're not praying...when you're praying, you're not worrying.

Hugs & Prayers,
Devastated
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Old 09-20-2008, 12:37 PM
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Originally Posted by grateful2b View Post
I'm so glad your son is willing to heal his life ..that is such a blessing... Grateful
should have written: "willing to go to rehab"....... it is a big step and that is a blessing...I don't know when mine will be willing to get help if ever...

but it is their work and their job to fix their life...so good for him for being willing to go...be thankful just for today....hugs, Grateful
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Old 09-20-2008, 06:13 PM
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I am so sorry you are going thru this with your son! My addict is my husband and his DOC was heroin. He went to rehab back in March and has been clean ever since. I wish your son much luck with this rehab. Just remember to take care of yourself!!
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Old 09-20-2008, 07:59 PM
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Thank you all so much for the support. Yes, I know, it is sad to say but this time in rehab will give us a bit of a break. I won't have to worry where he is, is he driving high, waiting for the phone to ring....you know the drill..

I know that I am taking this whole process this time, one day at a time...I see from this being his second stint at this...that that is all I can do. I can hope for a miracle, but I won't expect it.

BTW did you know that Hallmark makes cards for Rehab/Recovery now? Boy of boy, what does that tell you....I'll keep you all posted!
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Old 09-20-2008, 08:15 PM
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sister,
Hugs to you, and welcome to Sober Recovery.


I am the mother of a 35 year old son, witnessing the ups and downs of his battle with addiction for 20 years now. For today, he is sober.



Prayers for you and your family.
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Old 09-20-2008, 08:25 PM
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(((sister))) I'm sorry for what your going through. I also am the mom of a 22 year old rcovering heroin addict. She started w/ crack, then snorting heroin, then shooting heroin, then coke & heroin, (speedballing) . My daughter will be clean & sober 17 months this coming friday. The last time she ended up in medical detox (regular detox wouldn't take her again). She has done 3 months in a halfway house. Her choice, it did her the world of good. She is still friends with alot of the people today. She is also looking into working part time at the half way house to help other addicts. I am from upstate NY. If I can help you at all please ask. It is not sad to say that you get a bit of a break when they are in rehab. It is true. You can sleep sounder, knowing they are safe . Take care, keeping your family in my toughts & prayers.
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Old 09-20-2008, 08:52 PM
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Hello sister, just wanted to add my welcome.
I am not a mom of addict, my boyfriend is a heroin addict and started this probably when he was 18/20 yo, it "progressed" and he went few years ago on shooting heroin mixed with sleeping pills cos heroin alone was no longer enough, yukkk (he is now 33). Since then he's been in/out rehab and had some months/year clean. Unfortunately he relapsed 6 months but now is in rehab again.
Recovery is a long bumpy road but does happen so keep faith.
take care
Carine
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Old 09-21-2008, 03:47 AM
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Welcome! I am in love with an addict. I have been a member here for about two months now and I can honestly say....this forum has saved me so many times now.
It sounds like you already understand a lot about addiction and I think it is wonderful that you already know if he is using, letting him stay at your house would be enabling. Good for you to see that.
Addiction is hard but you will find a lot of support here. Keep posting and let us all know how you are doing.

Hugs
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Old 09-21-2008, 08:04 AM
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I see you have talked to your daughter already. I hope you continue to go to the meetings. If you don't like the one your at look around for other ones that you may be happier at. Talking is good for the soul just as writing here is. You are never alone so remember that.
You will have bumpy days and good days but you will always have someone here to talk too, we all do. Prayers and hugs to you and daughters.
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Old 09-21-2008, 07:31 PM
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welcome to S.R. this site has saved my sanity. i too am the mom of an addict son. i hope your son goes to rehab & wants the help he can get there. please keep coming back here & work your recovery as he is working his. it works only if you work it.prayers,
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Old 09-22-2008, 07:55 PM
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Hi Sister~~I'm from upstate NY also. Seems like theres a few of us here... I'm hoping your son gets the help he needs and you find some serenity in the fact that he is able to get it...my son is an addict with cocaine being his DOC....we seem to be on the upward trail now after rehab and 6 months of being clean....Good luck Hugs, Bonnie
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Old 09-24-2008, 11:27 AM
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Welcome to S.R. I am the mother of a 21 year old crack addict and whatever perscription drug. This site is a place of sanity for many of us. ((( hugs and prayers to you and your son))))
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Old 09-25-2008, 09:56 AM
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Hi and welcome! Mom, 24 AD currently "sober" 120 days today. She has been in and out of rehab after rehab, sober living, half way, faith based. You name it, I tried it--she only went!

After being beaten while pregnant and using, jumping out of car on way to shelter and spending weeks in hospital and treatment, she might be on a different path. I truly don't know, but so far today she tries.

You are in a great place, lots of parents and great folks here to help and understand. We are never alone! This place saved my life.

love and prayers for you and yours,
susan
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