I am so sorry you are in the midst of all this madness. I know it's easier to say than do, but remember other people are responsible for their choices, actions and the natural consequences that follow. You do not control the world or them. You just aren't that powerful!
It's very hard to watch your AH fall down. I know. I've been watching the same process. I cannot rescue my xAH from his choices. He is where he is because of his actions and lack of action. He is where he is because he refuses to ackknowledge his alcoholism and get into recovery. His own mother is on the verge of throwing him out of her home because after only 2 months of xAH living with his mother she is beginning to see that xAH is not the man he pretends to be and she is getting tired of enabling him.
I know it's very hard to stop all the behaviors you have learned over the years. But you can learn healthier ways. You can stop thinking it is your place to take care of everyone.