(((Silverberry))) You and I have the same sickness my friend- the need to take care of everyone else except ourselves. The first thought that comes to my mind is boundaries. AH is an adult. He can take care of himself- he chooses not to- and partly because he knows he can lean on others- you- for help. He pulls his "oh poor me pity party" knowing it's got to be hard on you. I'm sure it is- I know it would be hard on me. Try to draw on that strength you've been developing. He's not a child. You are not obligated to take care of him- married or not. He can get a job, he has chosen not to. He could have saved the chunk of money he got, but he chose to spend it on alcohol and it disappeared. His choices- not yours. Your choice- from what I've read in your posts- has been to start taking care of yourself. Gather yourself up and think about what you need.
As for your mom- it sounds like boundaries are in order there too. I'm sure you've read some of the people's posts here about their "toxic" relatives. Can you try detaching from her just until you feel stronger? There are some people in my life that I choose to have limited contact with, because it's just easier for me to focus on myself.
Take a deep breath and know you are doing ok. You won't always walk with confidence on your path- believe me- I know. But from what I read in your posts, you seem to be more focused on yourself- and you can tap into that strength again. . . (((Take care)))