I understand where you are coming from very much. I think for me it is a word play, simple semantics when I say I don't believe in'tough love" I still believe love is tough when necessary, love is gentle when necessary, I think the connotation of someone hearing the words "tough love" is what seems negative. I know many times in my life the way in which I approached someone although well-intended...I would lose the message by my forcefulness or other negative behaviour. And also, I think we are all just different you know? Everyone has their views and philosophy, and how they deliver it. I also know for me as an alcoholic/addict, I have to watch how I perceive things, I am either too sensitive or I am way gung-ho....that's my experience though. I do believe we all want and desire sobriety and happiness for ourselves, and for the newcomer who is suffering. I do not follow just one program, but will say I believe the 12 steps in themselves are powerful and very helpful. The first three I try to review every morning, in addition there are other tools I use. We become very passionate about this because one, we probably almost died or lost everything ourselves, we find a program that saved us...and we just want to tell someone...Please!! Listen...this DOES work!! Totally understandable to me. I feel the same way, except I don't only endorse or support AA/NA, but like I said..I think the 12 steps are an awesome tool.
Hope you don't mind Niner....sending a ***hug*** your way!!
