"Detach with love" i hear it in alanon and have read up on it too and my head gets it just not the rest of me. I know he has to focus on himself but will it always be that way? i don't want to be selfish but i also want a partner that will be there for me. I guess part of it is how much hurt and pain we went through previously. I am trying to let go and start fresh but despite him telling me he loves me, I don't see him really doing the things to let me know.