I'm sorry you are going through this. It's mind-boggling- isn't it? Mine has also downplayed a lot of very big things he did that I just could not live with- infidelity is among them. He blames me for every problem in our failed marriage, but you know- just because he believes that doesn't make it so. It's hard to be sure of yourself when someone you love is hell bent on making you the bad guy. It sounds to me like you are doing some good things for yourself and your baby. Yes, it's sad. I'm sad for the same reasons you are- no more one birthday, one Christmas, a lot to explain to a sweet child about her dad that you were hoping would just go away. Your baby is lucky to have you to protect her. Just know you are not alone, and she will be ok if you are ok.