Thank you Splendra. No.......I guess that is not me. Or I don't want it to be anyway. I don't know what God's plan for me is. All I know is I need to gain the strength for what is coming. I need to be prepared for whatever God throws at me, good or bad.
You are right. I am not God. I do wonder if this is some kind of punishment from God though. I was reading that God should be your ultimate love yet all I keep saying is that my bf is is the most important person in my life and I love him more than anything. Maybe God is trying to tell me something. I love God more than anything but that is not what I am saying out loud.
I'm not sure. All I know is I want to stay. So, I just spoke to the substance abuse counselor. I have an appointment Thursday!! Great!!!! I think face to face counseling is what I need right now. I know that all of my behavior cleary shows that I am a codependent and I am addicted to him. I need to beat this. I need to get through this without losing myself in the process. So.....I've asked for help. Better later than never I guess.
Thanks so much Splendra
