I know that is what I should do but I'm so consumed by him. Oddly enough, I'm not consumed by him using or not, I'm consumed by the thought that he may leave me here. The thought that he is in so much pain that he will take the easy way out.
I know, I'm sorry. I understand I am letting this happen to myself. I'm just as bad as he is. I can't let go.
At least I'm not crying at the moment. That's a plus. I kinda feel emotionally drained. Tomorrow it starts all over. I will try my hardest not to worry and wonder if he is safe. And everytime I hear a siren I will try not to let my nerves get me. Tomorrow IS another day. I will try again. Harder this time. I try and do what Abundance said - get focused on my work and let it take me through the day. Get lost in my job and let go of him.........at least for one day.
Maybe if I look at it that way....one day at a time.
Thanks
