Would you be sending the money because you think he needs these sneakers, deserves these sneakers or because it would make YOU feel like you're still the good guy that gets walked all over? See, mine would be the last one. I would know my AD didn't derserve a thing from me, in fact I didn't get her anything this year, but I think I would get her gifts either to a) give me ammunication to use against her in the future, b) give her one less thing to attack me about, c) show others what a good mom I was even after the way she treated me. I actually felt guilty at first, even though she hasn't gotten me a gift for years and I had at least gotten her a card and I kinda left the gift option open to "I haven't been able to get to the store this week." Within days she was on me again about something and I'm glad I didn't give her a thing.
Funny, she's still PO'd about it but get this. My AD's middle daughters birthday was in March, she turned 10. My AD first said she couldn't have a party for her until the following week which was her payday. Of course, that payday came and went, and we all knew where that money went, but still no party. A month later, since granddaughter was bummed, me and my other two daughters had a little party for her ourseelves. She loved it. Now, July comes along, youngest granddaughter, turned 5, same thing, same excuse, so we combined her party with her cousins who turned 4. MY AD was upset cause thinks no one paid as much attention to her daughter as her cousins. DUH.
So, along comes August 3, my oldest granddaughter turned 15, so her and I planned her party, boy did I get a really nasty email from AD to mind my own business and it was her daughter and what did we all think "she was some kind of monster mother?" Well, you guessed it, Labor Day daughters and I had a party for her ourselves. Now, she's mad I didn't get her a thing yet her three got nothing from her. Just can't wait for Christmas.
Good luck, Roszied, you'll do what makes you feel at peace and it will be right for you.