Sure. For the first three decades of my life I was only attracted to strong, silent men who abused alcohol and who would cut their own throats before they'd tell me they loved me. It was "normal" and comfortable because it's what I had always known. Somewhere in my mind, I was still trying to get my father to tell me he loved me (he died without ever having said it or even indicated it)
I was also a chameleon, trying on different faces, personalities, and ways of being so that I could be loved. I didn't even know what I was truly like until my 40s. It's a shame, because I really like the person I discovered I was.
Keep trying to grab the tails of those little birds flitting through your head, liz. It's really amazing to be able to hold these thoughts in your hand and examine them...you feel like you have power over them for the first time. At least I did.
Good luck!