Thank you Liz for your reply. Yes, I do need a break from the chaos and probably thinking about him ebbs that a bit at times. I have accepted that I am powerless over his drinking--tried for a long time to control that and gave that up about six months ago. This was the first time, however, that I actually "caught" myself feeling sorry for him and rather than wallowed in that sorrow (which I used to do), I got it out here--I pretty proud of myself for stopping in the middle of the feeling sorry for him party and recognizing what I was doing.