Originally Posted by
SAMJ1972 
Wow, we DO have a lot in common....what a coincidence. I had a long, tearful conversation with my husband after my AA meeting last night about my wishing I could have my 8 yr old's childhood back to do again. I think I am a good mom...never missed a school function or baseball game, but there are definitely times I would snap at him easily or be too tired to play with him enough when I was drinking. I hope to God that he doesn't remember mommy as always sleeping on the couch after work. UGH. I am hoping to make up for lost time now! It's nice to meet you.
You too!
I am the same as far as being the Team Soccer Parent, Girl Scout leader, etc., but I was always impatient. After all, the kids interfered with my drinking. Pathetic. I am not too worried about my 8 yr old because I have a sober decade left with her. Yay! She does not know about AA because I would like to keep my anonymity and she is very free in speaking to everyone
So I had told her that I go to meetings to learn how not to be sad (I lost my Dad in March and have had a really hard time with it) and to be a better Mommy. She tells me that I don't need to do that because I am already the best Mommy. Ahhh
It does make me sad to think about the time I lost with my son though. This is his senior year and then he is off to college. He and I talk a lot and we are closer than ever. I cherish every day with him and try not to beat myself up too bad about it. I can only work on today. Though when I get to Step 9, I am going to have a tearful amends to him I am sure.
Do you have a sponsor and are you working the steps yet? My sponsor has me working through them slowly. Writing, writing, writing. I know it is good for me because one of my big problems is that I need to slow down and just be sometimes. Like all high functioning alcoholics, I tend to move at the speed of light, lol.