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112 days and counting.....

Old 08-27-2008, 12:19 PM
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112 days and counting.....

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to introduce myself. I've been reading posts for a couple of weeks, but haven't contributed yet.

I'm a 36yo F, mother of 2 boys, wife of a wonderfully supportive man. 4 months ago I was a daily morning til night drinker, and had been for nearly 7 years....my life was falling apart. It was a full time job and daily challenge to get through each day and be a decent mommy.

Finally, when I was really hitting bottom, my work was suffering, and I was exhausted to the point of collapse, some friends and my husband confronted me and convinced me to check into an inpatient program. From there I went for 2 weeks of outpatient rehab, and today I am 112 days sober.

I go to AA three times a week and have met some great people, I list what I am grateful for daily and thank my higher power (my mom) each night for all that I have and for keeping me sober. My husband made a picture frame in which he puts each of my monthly AA chips and it hangs proudly on the wall in our house. My sons (ages 8 and 15) are proud of me too, and that helps me get through some of the harder moments. I don't want to let them down. My brothers, sisters and friends all love me (although at times I don't understand why) and I feel like I am trying to make up for lost time with them....for years I neglected almost everything and chose drinking instead.

It is definitely difficult - I almost relapsed at a cookout a couple of weeks ago - but there are definitely more good days than bad ones and I am thankful that I have people in my life who care about me enough to have helped me get to this point. I have successfully gotten through my first vacation without drinking (and had more fun than I ever could've thought possible), attended my first wedding sober, etc, etc. Lots of firsts. I have found that I can do things sober that I always thought I "needed" a few drinks for.

I am glad to have found this site and hope it will be another help for me in staying sober.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

Ann

Last edited by SAMJ1972; 08-27-2008 at 12:36 PM.
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Old 08-27-2008, 12:33 PM
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Sober since 9th May 2008
 
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Welcome

you've sneaked in here one day ahead of me, I'm on 111 day today. Cool

This site has been a big help to me right from the start, pretty much posted on here most nights since the 9th may.

Hope its as big a help to you.
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Old 08-27-2008, 12:55 PM
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Attitude of Gratitude
 
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Glad you found us!

Congrats on your Sobriety! Life is pretty darn wonderful after all, isn't it?

You're very fortunate to have a supportive hubby and two proud kids. So many in Recovery lost their families due to this disease. I'm sure your Family is right up there at the top of your gratitude list daily.

I hope you'll keep posting and sharing as much as you are comfortable doing. We have a big old family here, from literally all around the world! Welcome to the Family!

God Bless & Thank God . . . Just for Today,
Judy
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Old 08-27-2008, 01:14 PM
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Oh, how wonderful to have such a supportive family! And you absolutely do deserve their love, as you've worked very hard for every one of those days you have sober! Welcome and glad to meet ya!
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Old 08-27-2008, 01:15 PM
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Want to say hi and welcome

That is so nice of your husband to do that for you. A supportive family helps a great deal. I to had many regrets because of my drinking. I've heard many times that staying sober is the best "I'm Sorry" there is.

If I could go back and change it I would but it is not possible. I had to learn to let go of my past.
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Old 08-27-2008, 05:04 PM
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everything is already ok
 
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Welcome to SR Sam
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Old 08-27-2008, 05:13 PM
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Welcome to SR!

Sounds like you have alot of support, and now you will have more.
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Old 08-27-2008, 06:17 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Welcome...
Congratulations on your recovery progress!

Blessings to you and your family
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Old 08-27-2008, 09:14 PM
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C.I.A.
 
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Excellent! Another nOOb like me.

108 days here (but who's counting)?

Nice to have some contemporaries.

Welcome!
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Old 08-27-2008, 09:46 PM
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AND...


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Old 08-28-2008, 12:52 AM
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Hello and Welcome!
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Old 08-28-2008, 05:58 AM
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Welcome and congrats on your sober time.
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Old 08-28-2008, 11:43 AM
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Thank you everyone!
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Old 08-28-2008, 11:47 AM
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Hi Sam! Welcome to SR! You are a day ahead of me and we have so much in common! I also have an incredibly supportive husband who came to watch me take my 90 day chip and has started Alanon. I also have an 8 yr old and a 16 yr old. The 16 yr old has been an amazing support. I am so happy to be sober today and know that I can be there for my kids no matter what.
I look forward to posting more with you! :ghug
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Old 08-28-2008, 12:00 PM
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Way to go on your sober time!8

Keep coming back and post how you're doing - we care!!

:ghug3
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Old 08-28-2008, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted by TTOSBT View Post
Hi Sam! Welcome to SR! You are a day ahead of me and we have so much in common! I also have an incredibly supportive husband who came to watch me take my 90 day chip and has started Alanon. I also have an 8 yr old and a 16 yr old. The 16 yr old has been an amazing support. I am so happy to be sober today and know that I can be there for my kids no matter what.
I look forward to posting more with you! :ghug
Wow, we DO have a lot in common....what a coincidence. I had a long, tearful conversation with my husband after my AA meeting last night about my wishing I could have my 8 yr old's childhood back to do again. I think I am a good mom...never missed a school function or baseball game, but there are definitely times I would snap at him easily or be too tired to play with him enough when I was drinking. I hope to God that he doesn't remember mommy as always sleeping on the couch after work. UGH. I am hoping to make up for lost time now! It's nice to meet you.
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Old 08-28-2008, 12:23 PM
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Originally Posted by SAMJ1972 View Post
Wow, we DO have a lot in common....what a coincidence. I had a long, tearful conversation with my husband after my AA meeting last night about my wishing I could have my 8 yr old's childhood back to do again. I think I am a good mom...never missed a school function or baseball game, but there are definitely times I would snap at him easily or be too tired to play with him enough when I was drinking. I hope to God that he doesn't remember mommy as always sleeping on the couch after work. UGH. I am hoping to make up for lost time now! It's nice to meet you.
You too!

I am the same as far as being the Team Soccer Parent, Girl Scout leader, etc., but I was always impatient. After all, the kids interfered with my drinking. Pathetic. I am not too worried about my 8 yr old because I have a sober decade left with her. Yay! She does not know about AA because I would like to keep my anonymity and she is very free in speaking to everyone So I had told her that I go to meetings to learn how not to be sad (I lost my Dad in March and have had a really hard time with it) and to be a better Mommy. She tells me that I don't need to do that because I am already the best Mommy. Ahhh

It does make me sad to think about the time I lost with my son though. This is his senior year and then he is off to college. He and I talk a lot and we are closer than ever. I cherish every day with him and try not to beat myself up too bad about it. I can only work on today. Though when I get to Step 9, I am going to have a tearful amends to him I am sure.

Do you have a sponsor and are you working the steps yet? My sponsor has me working through them slowly. Writing, writing, writing. I know it is good for me because one of my big problems is that I need to slow down and just be sometimes. Like all high functioning alcoholics, I tend to move at the speed of light, lol.
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Old 08-28-2008, 12:34 PM
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Originally Posted by TTOSBT View Post
You too!

I am the same as far as being the Team Soccer Parent, Girl Scout leader, etc., but I was always impatient. After all, the kids interfered with my drinking. Pathetic. I am not too worried about my 8 yr old because I have a sober decade left with her. Yay! She does not know about AA because I would like to keep my anonymity and she is very free in speaking to everyone So I had told her that I go to meetings to learn how not to be sad (I lost my Dad in March and have had a really hard time with it) and to be a better Mommy. She tells me that I don't need to do that because I am already the best Mommy. Ahhh

It does make me sad to think about the time I lost with my son though. This is his senior year and then he is off to college. He and I talk a lot and we are closer than ever. I cherish every day with him and try not to beat myself up too bad about it. I can only work on today. Though when I get to Step 9, I am going to have a tearful amends to him I am sure.

Do you have a sponsor and are you working the steps yet? My sponsor has me working through them slowly. Writing, writing, writing. I know it is good for me because one of my big problems is that I need to slow down and just be sometimes. Like all high functioning alcoholics, I tend to move at the speed of light, lol.
I do not have a sponsor, and for no real reason...just hasn't happened yet I guess. I am just now getting better at speaking up more in meetings and it's amazing how quickly things get rolling from there. I do go to a step meeting weekly.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad - I lost my mom 16 years ago and although it gets easier, it's always hard. I hope you can forgive yourself for any way in which you've wronged your son - it's so easy for me to tell people not to be too hard on themselves..I wish I could follow my own advice! My little guy also thinks I'm the greatest so maybe I scraped by without doing too much damage to him. My 15 yr old is actually my stepson and doesn't live with us full time so a lot was able to be hidden from him. Phew!
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