strongerwoman, it has been pointed out that you are still moving in that black-or-white realm of thinking. Okay? You are not ugly. You are not stupid. Hey, you got through school and PASSED your exam on the first try - this is NOT the accomplishment of a stupid person.
Please try not to label yourself so harshly. We codies are so rough on ourselves. Frankly, if you want to vent, emote, get dramatic, whatever ... it IS your right. As long as the mods feel you are acting within the parameters set for this board, I don't think you're going to get booted off or anything. You are certainly not the first person to come on here and post, "What an idiot I am," "How DUMB can I be?"
Be kind to yourself. You are human. You make mistakes. Just like everybody else here.